How to fist your girlfriend

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Podcast: Play in new window Download Embed. Learn how to fist with grace and skill so you can explore this intense sex act without any pain or injury. If your partner likes big penetration and playing with big toys, learn how to fist so you can give her tons of pleasure and enjoy the wild ride of getting your whole hand inside your lover! Want to know how to fist a woman? You are not alone! As sex educators we get asked this question a lot, from both men and women who want to experience the intensity of fisting.

Fisting is the erotic act of penetrating the vagina or anus, but that is the subject of another article entirely! Fisting is a form of large penetration that can feel highly arousing to many women. Fisting can actually be very serene and peaceful or can of course be more rough. Like any sex act, the experience of fisting depends way more on the attitude and intentions you bring rather than the act itself. You can learn how to fist with grace and skill so it is an intensely pleasurable act that she loves.

Fisting is a bad name for this sex act, as many people have the mental image of creating a rigid fist and shoving it inside. Forget that image and instead think about the slow introduction of one finger at a time, gradually opening up the vagina and only introducing more fingers when she is ready.

Learning how to fist will teach you how to pay attention to her arousal, penetrating her gently and at the pace that is right for her body. One of the most essential skills to develop in learning how to fist is the art of folding your hand into a penetration-friendly shape. One or two fingers usually fit inside nicely, but when you go bigger than that you need to learn how to wedge your hand. Start by tucking your ring and index finger on top of your middle finger — see how that creates a nice pyramid shape?

Then fold in your pinky and thumb to create the most compact shape you can. You may have to stretch and massage your hand to increase flexibility so you can tuck your hand in more tightly! When first learning how to fist, use lots of lube and just take it one finger at a time.

Fisting requires high levels of arousal, so warm her up with oral sex , clitoral stimulation and external anal play if she likes it. Then put her in charge of clitoral stimulation so you can focus on penetrating her. The most intense part is getting past the knuckles at the base of the fingers. Wait for the vagina to expand and invite you in. Once inside, remember that really tiny movements will create a huge amount of sensation. Wiggle your hand gently, move in small circular movements and graze your knuckles against the cervix. Notice what she responds to and follow her lead about what kind of movements she likes best.

For more details on technique and how to fist like a pro, listen to the podcast where we teach you how to fist in detail, start to finish. Learning how to fist can be a fun, hot and sexy exploration. Take it slowly as you explore this intense sex act, and remember, penetration never has to hurt, no matter if it is one finger or a whole fist! Foreplay Mastery Online Course.

Please note: this transcript was auto-generated by software. We hope it is useful to the hard of hearing community and anyone else who could benefit from a text version of the podcast. We offer expert advice and practical strategies so you can experience more sexual pleasure. We use explicit language and nothing is taboo. You can submit a question at pleasuremechanics. My wife often enjoys a fuller hand job. Are there good quality vaginal plugs I guess similar to a butt plug that would be better, or will I eventually manage a full hand given enough arousal and time? Thanks so much for all the cool info.

All the best. CMR: We think everyone can have an amazing sex life no matter what their orientation! Ha ha ha, just kidding! We believe everyone deserves a fabulous sex life and thank you for your question. Men and women both can enjoy it, but I think that deserves its own podcast way down the road perhaps. And of course this can involved a male or female hand. CMR: Well endowed! And this comes from the idea that your hands can be a great phallus, a great tool to penetrate your lover with if you do it right. There is no pussy punching here. You instead introduce your fingers one by one and slowly stretch the vaginal walls to the point where you can slip your whole hand inside.

Some people do like a gentle pulsing motion with the hand in this shape, but that will be particular to the woman. Yeah, and fisting is one of these acts that can be thought of as really intense and extreme, sort of like anal sex is sometimes. CMR: Right, like all sex acts, the experience comes from the attitude you bring and the intention you bring, not the act itself.

And when you get down to it it really is just penetration. So a lot of women enjoy the sensation of being really filled up and fisting is one way to get that sense of being full, a lot of internal pressure and a lot of women find that highly arousing. CR: One concern people have about fisting is that it will stretch the vagina, and it will, but that will just be temporary. The vagina as we know is deed to be able to take an enormous baby coming out of it, but it is deed to return to its natural size.

CMR: Definitely. The other piece to think about here is preparation. So definitely we recommend having a high quality lubricant on hand, so to speak. This is a kind of juicy, messy, activity so be prepared to get slick. Some people enjoy using gloves for fisting because it smoothes out the rough edges, creates another level of protection and barrier.

And some women prefer the sensation of a hand with a glove on. CMR: Yeah. You never want to cause your body pain in the name of pleasure. And you know think of it like a really good massage. CR: Yeah any time you reach an edge that feels questionable, you can always just hold still there or pull back out slightly, and keep stimulating the clitoris, keep creating more arousal, and then edge back again.

CR: Yeah. And just to second that- the full body massage, the butt massage, all of that is especially important in these sorts of acts because the body really has to be relaxed in order to receive that kind of penetration. So absolutely- full body massage is a great way to begin these sorts of acts. CMR: Seduce her entire body.

And one really good thing to do here is put her in charge of clitoral stimulation. So encourage her to touch her own clitoris while you focus on the penetration. That way she can bring herself as much arousal as she wants to continue to build arousal as you go inside her bigger and bigger. CR: Perfect. Then she can go at the rate that she wants, the kind of pressure that she wants…. You know, multitasking is great, but sometimes you really just want to focus your erotic attention on one thing at a time and have it be a team sport.

Put her in charge of the clitoris and you just focus all of your attention on your fingers in her vagina and what you are feeling there. And the other thing I want to say here is this is a moment to really drop your attention into your fingers. Notice what your fingers are feeling. Notice the sensation of the tissues and pay exquisite attention. I love this. This is one of my favorite things about sex with women- is the sensations of the vagina opening and responding to your touch and it can be just a really exquisite dance.

So what is her breathing doing, what is her body doing, how are her sounds? CR: Cause there really is vaginal tension that you can feel and that is a point when you feel that- that you pull back. And I think this is one of the things we said about it being like a serene meditation.

When you go to two fingers, usually what happens is you press the first and second finger together and you move them together and you have a nice broad surface. When you start going to three or four fingers and this is especially important for bigger handed men, but we can all do this you want to start folding your hand into more of a point rather than just having your fingers splayed next to each other.

CR: Like a tripod. And this is a great position to start introducing three fingers in. And try using these three fingers in harmony together. Sometimes I like stimulating the top of the vaginal wall with the top two fingers while my center finger tickles the cervix a little bit. But really get dextrous with using your fingers together as a sexual tool. And so this again it kind of continues that triangular pyramid point and you can start introducing that.

But if I folded and fold my fingers on top of each other I can compress it down to probably three or four inches and you can practice some fisting techniques wherever you are by practicing exercising your hands and getting them more flexible so you can fold your fingers on top of each other more easily. So the vaginal opening is right around the knuckles until the point that it opens up to you.

Never push this surface in past resistance so apply a little bit more lube and just stay and work the opening of the vagina with some nice circular motions with a little bit of pulsing or vibrating until you warm up the vagina and it opens up to you. And this is really essential because if you fold your thumb pad over you make your hand until I get a nice, round, tapered, blip kind of shape and the vagina is really good at accepting this kind of shape inside of it.

And this can be a really intense moment and once you get inside you want to kind of hold still for a while. So you can focus on micro movements and you can focus on making really small movements inside either with individual fingers or with your whole hand. Pulsing, small circles, vibrations… You can really begin to play with the sensations you can create inside without making huge movements. It will feel huge to the receiver. CMR: Right. Follow her lead and notice her responses as you start moving around inside, and what she likes and do more of that.

Other times once you get past the entrance the vagina kind of balloons out a bit and you can actually reshape your hand more into the fist that we think of traditionally where your fingers are curled in towards the palm and your thumb is tucked under those or over them, and you have more of the fist position inside.

Only do this if you feel like you have room to move around inside the vagina. A word to the wise: sometimes, your hand will start cramping up. Sometimes, the vagina has such strong contractions that it squeezes your hand and it can be really, really, intense. My best advice is just to go with it and ride out those waves and try to stick with it. But you can also sometimes get to a point where your hand is actually in pain from all the contractions and vaginal pressure around your hand, and if you need to- pull out. Another thing that can happen is the contractions can lock you inside.

So this has happened to me a couple times where after the contractions the vagina goes really tight and the hand is a little bit stuck inside. And I remember the first time this happened to me.

How to fist your girlfriend

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Here's What You Need To Know About Fisting